In today’s episode of the Mindful Meeting podcast, we have Marzia Hassan. Marzia is an author, public speaker, marriage and family therapist working with individuals, family members, and couples. After starting her own family, she realized that her passion is empowering and strengthening families to create intentional and healthy relationships.
Marzia now works as a social worker and a relationship consultant. She has a master’s degree in Social Work from the University of Toronto and is the founder of Family Connections International, a psychotherapy practice based out of Toronto and online.
Hassan has lived, studied, and experienced life on three different continents. She combines scientific thoughts and blends them with Eastern spiritual wisdom to bring a unique and practical aspect to her work with families. Apart from authoring three books, Marzia publishes on the Daily Wisdom blog and is also the host of the Family Connections podcast.
In this episode:
[03:51] Riddle for Marzia
[05:37] Is the word love thrown around too loosely?
[08:15] When does love come?
[10:02] WWhy are there challenges of finding a spouse?
[13:27] What should be the reasons we should get married?
[16:29] Seeing red flags in new relationships
[18:58] Warning signs when dating
[26:44] How important is money when seeking a spouse?
[33:16] Is multiple dating a good idea?
[36:11] How much information should you disclose to your partner?
[40:17] Finding the right balance in setting standards
[42:11] Commitment: Definitions and types
[44:56] Double standards in role sharing
[48:20] How fast should online dating be
[52:02] How can you differentiate between a fake and a real partner?
[56:29] Drawing the line between stalking and knowing someone on social media
[58:46] Is mutual physical attraction important?
[01:03:28] Coping with rejection and continuing with the spouse search.
[01:06:35] Message to humanity
● The feelings of love come and go. But the actions of love are what keeps it natured long term.
● When you think of love as doing the best for the other person at the expense of yourself, then it definitely grows.
● If you’re getting married to somebody only because of social pressure, it’s not a good reason to get married because anything we do has to be the choice.
● It’s a good idea to listen to wisdom from elders. When you make the decision though, you have to be very clear that it comes from your choice. People can influence you. They can say their bit, but at the end of the day, it’s your life. You need to take responsibility.
● After you’ve married, it’s a good thing to look at your spouse with all the positive qualities and not to pay so much attention to the shortcomings.
● Before you commit to someone, you really need to be realistic about who they are, what they represent, and what your challenges are going to be.
● Even if you’re married to a saint, they will annoy you at times. That’s the reality of relationships.
● If the parents have a strong relationship, it’s very likely that the potential spouse has picked up on some of that.
● The standards of financial wellbeing have become so impossibly high that people are waiting for a long time to settle down because they think they cannot satisfy the needs of their spouses.
● You can’t really build intimacy or trust without being vulnerable.
● In happy relationships, both the man and the woman give 100%. They are focused on how to make the other person happy rather than what the other person is not doing to make them happy.
● Be kind. Be compassionate to yourself. Focus on other aspects of your life that you do have control over.
● 100 people can say no to you. But you only need one person to say yes at the end of the day.
Connect With Marzia
Family Connections Podcast
Parenting In The Age Of Facebook book by Marzia Hassan
Daily Wisdom blog